Joy Spiral
Photo by Simone Hoogervorst
Is joy not the ultimate goal in life? We all want to be happy, we want the people in our lives to be happy. We want our kids to be happy.
In my life there was a lot of “falling”, darker times. Depression and illness. Because of that eventually, when I just couldn’t handle more darkness, I went looking for light, joy. Anything to feel better. To rise again.
The joy of being oneself
I love using the word joy. It feels very happy and somewhat easier than happiness, to me. Joy is one of my favorite topics. It’s why I do all the inner work that I do. To get out of my own way, so I can experience the joy of being myself. So I can enjoy life and play. Have fun with who I am.
The joy spiral
My intention for 2020 is JOY. So what does joy actually look like? How does it feel? What brings me joy? I love asking myself questions like this. I learn more about myself and I also train myself to look for fun, positive, joyful things, this way. The intention is to get into a joy spiral.
When I was depressed, I started seeing how much energy I put into complaining, negativity, what is wrong, what went wrong. And I thought to myself, if I would use all that energy for positivity, wow how happy would I be?! I never “complain” as long about the positive things. Like a negative spiral but then an upwards one. Up, up, up, instead of down, down, down… Spiralling up with joy and happiness.
The joy creation game
There is this little fun creation game that I love playing. I read about something like it years ago, in a magazine. I think the article was called The happiness raise. She talked about bringing in more fun things that money can’t buy to raise her happiness level. And it inspired a really fun and amazing question that I still use: What little daily things, that are easily applicable and affordable, would raise my joy?
I love this question! There are so many little big things that bring joy that I overlook. I feel we’re kind of used to chasing the big things that we forget about all the fun little things that are right in front of us. And that we can play with right away. And for me it brings just as much joy as the big things.
The joy of big little things
I absolutely love the daily moments. They feel so intimate to me. Being a part of someone’s daily routine makes me feel very connected to people.
When I stay over at my sister’s or brother’s place to spend time with the kiddies, I love when we all wake up and stay in our pj’s and make and eat breakfast. Kids running around. That’s so special to me, priceless.
A couple of times a year I take the question and write down the things that pop into mind. So I’ve done this for years and it is so funny to see that just naming what brings me joy, gets me closer to the experience. It brings a clarity within and funny enough also on the outside.
I had this dish that is one of my favorites, a Chinese style crab ceviche, and I put it on my happiness raise list. And the months after I got the dish from all around me. People just started making me this crab ceviche. Every couple of weeks I got this dish served to me. It was the funniest thing. And delicious too!!
A couple of experiences that I added, that raised my joy, are: hiking in the Amsterdam Forest, tech-free sundays, dancing in my living room, dance classes, new foods/restaurants, cocktails, dance parties/festivals, reading more, yoga, Qi Gong, trying new recipes, date night, more girltime, playing dress up in the mornings and mini meditations.
I love all of the above! The one I just want to point out: tech-free sundays!! OMG sooooo GOOOOD!! This is our ritual now, every sunday, with high exception, we have our sunday without any technology. Phone is only to make a social call or play music. Beyond that no social media, no tv, no laptop. The only device allowed is our Kindle for reading. We just hang and do nothing. Listen to music, read, talk or play a game. Whatever we feel like. Mostly nothing. It becomes such a timeless day. It’s my favorite day! And the day brings not only more joy on the day itself, but also for the week ahead. It’s a release of the past week and a recharge day for the week that’s coming. I love my PJ’s-doing-nothing-day :)! It’s the gift of space, time and energy. It’s the best and it’s free!
I love the idea of it being either free or super affordable. I don’t have to be a millionaire, to be happy. And actually the reason behind wanting something is usually to feel good. So why not feel good right now. Be joyful now. Create joy now. Practising this little game gets you more in tune with your joys. You start to recognize and choose joy more and more easily and often. It will become of habit, choosing and feeling joy.
My joys
So the reason I’m writing about this is of course because I felt like making the joy list, the happiness raise! I want to see what would make my joy rise, now. I love to find those big little things cause they also feel soooo doable! Easy, simple and fun. What’s not to love! I’m a big fan of easy these days.
I’ll share a couple of things of my newest joy list with you.
This time the things that really excite me are:
Singing karaoke (my list actually says: sing karaoke at home, sing at karaoke bar, karaoke evening with food) I have a feeling I really want to sing karaoke haha
Make bubble tea at home
Make golden milk at home
Try out new hairstyles (braids and updos)
Take a silk rope class
Speaking my truth in the moment
Listen to Adele on vinyl (record player broke down, get it replaced)
Try out new recipes (Japanese cheesecake)
Make my childhood favorite: monchou cake (dutch cheesecake)
Have my little kiddies (nephews) for a sleepover
Take a new dance class
Have open real loving conversations
Have a joyful yes and a loving no.
More moments of doing nothing
Karaoke joy :D!
The karaoke thing is actually one of my schemes of the year, that I’ve already been working on! I had a karaoke birthday party. We went to a japanese karaoke bar to celebrate. I intentionally did it for my birthday so people would be less inclined to say no. Cause karaoke I noticed makes people a bit squeamish. Most tend to want to get as far away as possible from it… So my scheme was: I will invite friends for my birthday and they will have to say yes. And when they experience it, they will fall for karaoke as I have… And they came, and had a blast! So YES, the plan worked! And now I have extra people for the karaoke crew for extra fun and joy!!
I am currently working on a karaoke set up at home. With a karaoke app, that’s super affordable. Just gotta get me some microphones. This year is gonna be a karaoke-fun year :)! I’m so excited. It makes me soooo happy! I said to a girlfriend, if I do nothing except create a karaoke club this year, then it will have been the best year. Joy is rising!
What brings you joy? What costs next to nothing that would bring you joy now?
Choose joy. Have some fun. Dare to love yourself now. Fill your cup with joy! You deserve it. We all do. My wish is for us all to be happy, to feel joyful and ripple that joy into the world.
May we all shine like crazy!
With uncaused love,
Ann
