Pressure makes diamonds
Photo by Kristal Ng
Extraordinary times
It is a weird time we are living in now. Everything from shops closing down, asked to work from home, the social distancing, the unknownness and newness of all that is unfolding, and that all over the world. It is weird and at times a bit scary, YET it is also extraordinary. We are, almost all at once, finding ourselves in a pressure cooker time.
I have been in several pressure cooker times, ranging from depression, a decade of Lyme disease, and intense grief. What I have witnessed in myself and recognised in others is this:
Pressure makes diamonds.
A pressure cooker time can strip you from what is not really you and bring you home in yourself. It’s a homecoming time. I am hopeful and curious for this part. How many diamonds are gonna come out of this pressure cooker?!
Pressure cooker
Is this whole virus thing trying to mess with my head, YES! With my health background, I have a lot of people worrying about me. They think I am in the category of those most at risk. Which I can definitely understand, having had a ten years during illness, how can I even argue with that? I don’t want to count myself among those more at risk, for my own peace of mind. I will, though, go about it with common sense and safety measures that I deem needed, cause I also don’t want to test the theory.
I want to calm myself again, cause what I have learned from having dealt with health issues for a decade is: Do not stress. It lowers the immune system and therefore increases the chance of illness. So calm is gonna be my health selfcare practice for now. I am healthy now. And grateful for that.
How does a pressure cooker time work?
The added pressure intensifies what is already there, whatever pain or desire is inside me. The intensity makes for greater clarity. Sometimes it is hard seeing what’s going on with yourself. But the intensity of the pressure almost enlarges your deepest going ons, like a magnifying glass. Weirdly enough because seemingly it feels worse, is when it’s easier to see how I feel and what I do and do not want. Pressure can give clarity to what is real and what is not really true for me. It can be clearer what to hold onto and what to let go. The lessons are clearer of what I need to learn.
The big questions in the cooker
I have been in the pressure cooker, nothing like this of course, yet internally the process is often similar. It’s being faced with the big questions: What is really true and what is not. What is really important to me and what is not? Who am I really and who am I not? Often there is mortality added to the mix: This precious time given, how do I want to spend it? What is my intention for this beautiful life of mine?
I have been asking myself, this past week, how do I want to handle this? I’ve been asking question after question. All of the above and more.
Now I’m curious about this one:
Having been in the pressure cooker before: What practices would I take with me for this time, and which would I do differently?
I want to source my own experience. To stop for a moment and breathe. With a bit more of a clear mind and heart, I want to take a moment and ask myself how I want to go about it. What do I know already to do and not to do? If you would ask yourself the same, what would it be for you?
Practices that I would do differently in the pressure cooker this time around:
All or all, trying to do it all and perfect. I did every health protocol there was, when I had Lyme disease, at the same time. Exhausting and not effective at all. I want to do what is essential and stop and rest more. Do what I can do and surrender the rest.
Trying to do it mostly alone and not ask for enough help. Share what’s going on more openly. Ask for help more freely.
Being a yes girl. Know what my boundaries are and express them. Be able to say stop and no.
Being quiet. Speak my truth. Voice what is okay and what is not okay. Share more of what’s going on with me. How I am feeling. Be more open and vulnerable.
People pleasing. Helping others before helping myself. I am allowed to give when I am full and I want to. Only when I am done helping myself.
Fixer. I handled things by doing, fixing. Not that I actually fixed the real things, it was just running away. When I got uncomfortable, when hard stuff came up for me or others, the pain of it was too uncomfortable. I would start fixing. The thing was, I was too scared to feel it, so I went into fixing mode. Now, I try to stop and feel what wants to be felt. Cause it always comes back, there is no running away really. Now I try to be brave and see, feel and heal it. It is HARD this feeling thing, but hard can unleash great beauty.
Practices that I would do again in the pressure cooker this time around:
Gratitude, most definitely. I kept a daily gratitude journal, listing little and big things that I was grateful for. It changed my focus from what is wrong and scary to what is beautiful and precious. It changed the way I look at life. I can see beauty at all times now, even the darker ones because I started this practice when it was really dark. Imagine how much light you would be able to see in brighter times.
The NOW. Do not let yesterday or tomorrow affect today, affect now. Come home in this moment. It’s the only real time that you are experiencing. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow has not arrived yet. Now is always here. Now is home.
Focus on what you do want. Looking at what you don’t want doesn’t get you to where you do want to go. As it is with driving. When you keep looking at the wall, you will crash into it. Look at where there is space for you to be safe and free. Focus on where you want to go. If you don’t know which way to go: Go to where there is love.
Acceptance. I accept what is now exactly as it is now (this mantra kept me sane). And from that peace I do what I can to change whatever I want to change, if that is a posibility.
Call out my ego. Look at what is real and what is not and name it, so you can release it and hear how weird it sounds out loud. It will sound something in the line of this: “My ego is saying… I’m worthless. My ego is saying… who am I to be somebody. My ego is saying… you are not listening to me, that you never listen to me.” Call out the ego, so you can return to what is real, your heart.
Laughter. Light. Fun. Cause especially when it gets a bit dark, you need the light. What helped us get through dark times, was definitely the light. The love, the laughter, the joy and fun, that we went to look for. To make it bearable yes and also to be happy. Cause having a health issue for a decade, I realized, there is no better time to be happy than now.
Love is always the answer
How do I want to handle this time? L-O-V-E. Love for myself, which means selfcare in mind, body and soul for me. To be full, so I can be strong and continue being healthy and joyful.
Love for each other, whomever that is. To have compassion, kindness and grace for each other, in these weird and challenging times now, and ahead, when we restart all of life again. May it be a gracious time filled with love and support.
Love is always the answer, right?! It’s the ultimate answer to the question: What is most important? Our loved ones. In times like these, the essential is love. Keeping connected, keeping us all safe, loving each other. We can rebuild the rest and we WILL. Diamonds are being made and are on it’s way.
THANK YOU to our HEROES
I want to say a deep deep THANK YOU to all the diamonds who are working to keep us safe, cared for and fed.
To all the HEALTH HEROES, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the hours you’re putting in! Thank you for being on the front lines, caring for those who need to be cared for!
To all the FOOD HEROES, thank you for being there and feeding us all. You are so necessary and very appreciated! Thank you!
To all the DIAMONDS everywhere, everyone who’s serving to keep us safe and cared for, I THANK YOU! I see you and I appreciate you!
We are all diamonds
I am a diamond and so are you, we all are. Life is full of these pressure cooker moments that help us reveal more and more of the diamond we already are. May you discover your own beauty, your light, your resilience, your power, your truth in a deeper way through this pressure cooker time.
May you stay safe and healthy. May you be loved, by yourself and those around you. I wish you WELL!!
May we all keep on shining! Especially if it seems a bit dark, is when we need our light the most!
Light is where you are the most strong, in mind, heart and body.
With so much uncaused love,
Ann
