The unknown of the blank canvas
Me sculpting a tiger head. Photo by Simone Hoogervorst
The not knowing
As an artist, I have kinda hated the blank canvas moment in the past, I’ve had to learn to love it and trust it. I have always loved when I’m creating and it’s flowing. When I’m in the middle of painting, sculpting, acting or writing and it’s flowing it’s heavenly. But the blank canvas… when I start a new piece or project...the nothingness, the unknown, the undecided...has been so scary! What if nothing comes to me?! The not knowing what to create was at times paralyzing. The wait for inspiration to come can trigger so many unhealthy default patterns for me: insecurity, which would lead to indecisiveness, doubt, procrastination, negative self talk of not being good enough an artist.
From not knowing to knowing
In time I learned to trust that, yes although I might not know immediately or as quickly as I might like, I would know at some point. And in the meantime I would just start mixing colors. Paint nothing, literally just putting brush to paper. And sometimes that would be all I did and no inspiration would come in that session. And sometimes it would hit me, YES inspiration. Hallelujah!! And sometimes I would just go and take a nap. Which can also work wonders actually. The more full and relaxed you are, the more likely for inspiration to come and visit. In time I recognized this: if I keep showing up, the not knowing will turn into knowing. Step by step. Piece by piece inspiration will flow. And this recognition turned into a trust.
The blank page, still stands for not knowing. And I accept that feeling of not knowing, the newness and blankness of the beginning. It can still feel a bit scary. And then I remind myself, it will come, it always has, just be here and try and if it doesn’t work now, try again later. In the end it always comes. The knowing. And then the bliss of flowing. Being in the zone.
Artists’ block
The feeling of blankness can come back over and over at any time when working on a piece. Often called a block or being stuck. Being an artist is a very sensitive and vulnerable profession. You bump into yourself over and over. Your strengths and your angst. And everything in between.
I recently realised this reminds me of something: being human.
Artists of life
Aren’t we all artists?! We are all trying to create a beautiful life. Trying to create something meaningful and personal to us. Life is our blank canvas. The life given to each of us is ours to create. It’s our ultimate and most important piece of art we will sculpt, this life of ours.
We will encounter the feeling of the blank page, which can make you feel anywhere between excited and scared, or even both at the same time. We will not know, until we do know. We have to trust that the knowing will come. And that the not knowing, we can be with, until the knowing shows up. And when we know, we will flow.
We might get stuck and bump into ourselves and our angst. We keep showing up, just mixing colors and just putting brush to paper, until the knowing, the inspiration, shows up too. Or we take a nap (or something else relaxing), take care of ourselves, fill ourselves up and try again later. It is a very sensitive and vulnerable profession, this being human. Being an artist of life.
The process
So many of us are facing a blank canvas. Newness. Whether you’re feeling excited or scared, anything in between, or both at the same time. Whether you are currently flowing or a bit stuck and bumping into yourself or you just don’t know. It’s all okay, it’s all part of the process of being an artist of life. Of being human.
Creating is a sensitive and vulnerable process, cause to create you need to be open. Only with an open heart can you birth something true and meaningful.
Every part of the process has it’s place and value. Contains it’s own lessons. Be curious and ask yourself what it could be for you. I’ll share mine with you.
When I am in the:
Blankness: I might be asked to accept, surrender and trust more deeply. Trust and just start mixing colors and just put brush to paper. Just start and try. I ask myself to be curious and experiment. Try things out. Play around. Creating is playing. Keep showing up and if nothing works, go nap or relax. Try again later.
Block or stuck: I might be asked to let something go. Or to get creative and find another way. I might be encouraged to ask for help. Or I might be asked to practice some selfcare, rest and relax and try again later.
Flow: I might be asked to enjoy it even more deeply, really surrender to it. Stay there and ride that wave. I might be asked to stay brave and follow where inspiration wants to take me. The flow is an adventure.
Wherever you are in the process of creating your life experience, be kind to yourself and treat yourself with grace. Relax and try to enjoy it. For myself I figured out, the more relaxed I am, the closer I get to the joy of the flow.
To create a true, beautiful and meaningful life, dare to open your heart and to keep it open. Is it gonna get messy? Of course it will. It is also going to be beautiful. To create true art, one must put their heart into it.
It is a very sensitive and vulnerable profession, this being human. Being an artist of life.
Be kind to yourself and each other.
Let’s human together.
May you create a beautiful life and shine all of your crazy bright light! The world needs your light.
With uncaused love,
Ann
