Unleash the untameable wild tiger within.

Photo by Kartik Iyer

The year of the tiger

I’ve been excited for it to be 2022 for a while and specifically for it to be the chinese new year. Which it turned into on February the first. It welcomed the year of the tiger, according to the chinese zodiac signs. 

I happen to be born in a tiger year. I’ve been telling myself and all around me that this year is gonna be a lucky and powerful year. I am going to ride the energy of the tiger that's hanging in the air this year. You can too. 

The Powers of the Tiger

Last year, my sister in law gave me a tiger mug. It’s white and has the most beautiful tiger head on it, a growling one. I love it, it’s my power mug. It was a zodiac mug which came with a description of the qualities of the tiger. I loved what it said so much that I cut it out from the packaging and stuck it on my fridge as inspiration and a reminder to the tiger’s energy and power. 

Here’s the description that’s on my fridge: 

“TIGER

The tiger teaches you how to become a warrior of the light. It gives you the tenacity, courage and the bravery to put your ideas into practice and to fulfill your heart’s desire. It shows you how to develop your unique personality and individuality. It helps you to stay on the right path and protects you against attacks and unsolicited guests. It shows you the way to be free of your soul’s prison. Take on the challenge of living life positively - everything will be fine!” - Tokyo design studio    

So beautiful, I love it and wanted to share it with you. It speaks to my soul. To a deep longing that's been inside me for so long. It's the longing to be free, to be bravely truly fully myself. This longing has been there even before I could really articulate it. 

The longing to be free

I remember when I was in my teens I would get asked this question a lot: Do you feel Dutch or do you feel Chinese? (I was born and grew up in the Netherlands and my heritage from both parents is Chinese.) I would always answer: I'm An-na. 

Which, I felt, annoyed a lot of people, like it was a weird or even arrogant answer. They didn't really know what to do with that answer and would just look at me funny. Like I really didn't have another option and this was a confusing answer. And I didn't quite know how to explain myself, as I did not know at the time what I even meant to say. But it was always my answer.

I’m An-na.

It was only till later in life that I even understood what I meant with that answer. I, at that time, simply didn't feel 100% Dutch or 100% Chinese. And I still don't. 

I've realized what growing up in multiple cultures did for me personally. I grew up with more ways of living than just the one, in some ways they were drastically different. On the one hand my teenage friends were out partying, allowed to drink and dance the night away and on the other hand I wasn't allowed to take dance classes because of the chance that boys would be present. The Dutch culture is more centered on individuality. Chinese culture is more centered on the group, like a family.

Growing up with such different cultures around me, I felt the pressure of having to choose one to fit in. To act one way at home with my Chinese family and another when I'm in the Dutch world. It was a highly confusing and stressful way to live.

But now I see what it was teaching me all along: that I have options. What the diversity and difference of these cultures taught me was that I get to think for myself. I realized that if there are such different ways of going about life, then there are options. One is not good or bad, just different. That to be free is that I get to choose what is true for me. 

I get to choose what belongs to me. I can choose from the Dutch menu, I can choose from the Chinese menu, I get to alter it to make it my own or  I can even create my own menu. Create a new option that's true to me. I don't have to be Dutch or Chinese, I get to be An-na. It was my way of saying: I long to be free, I long to be me. I'm An-na. 

And I refuse your labeling. I don't want to be put in a box. I want to live outside the box. I am wild, I am free, I am untameable. You cannot put me in a cage of labeling. I long to be my wild free untameable true self. I long for no longer having to pretend to be who I am not. I long for myself. The energy of the tiger year, I want to ride its energy to unleash the untameable wild me within even more. 

What does your heart long for?

May its energy help you to fulfill your heart’s desires and unleash your untameable true self. May your longings be fulfilled.   

With love, 

An-na 

Ps: if you are born in a tiger year, which is every 12 years, wear red underwear this year to be extra lucky.